Contributed by : Rokolhuno Mor (B.A II)
Lolita, a girl of 18 had a fair complexion, black long flowing hair and bright shining eyes. She always has a smile which made her a friend of all. She is pretty, smart and intelligent. She has all the qualities a boy looks for in a girl. No wonder she has many friends, boys and girls alike. Sadly enough this girl is not the same at home with Lucy, her mom. She lives with her 30 year old mother who is interested in the well- being of her only daughter. She asks Lolita the daily events of the day, her studies, her circle of friends and warns of the dangers lurking around which might ruin a young lady.
Lolita considers her mom, a nagging, suspicious lady, limiting her freedom. As a result there was no love lost between them. She has only rude replies to the queries of her mother. The genuine love and parental guide are misunderstood. Lucy tries her best to make up for the absence of a father. For, being a divorcee she very well knows the trauma and emptiness of a daughter of single parent.
Life pulled on for months, the mother trying to make the daughter understand that it was only out of concern that she played the hard task master. But the girl was blinded by her love for independence and freedom. She thought, being away from her mother, would give her more freedom, peace and tranquility. The wish every mother is to see her child happy and contented.
After her graduation Lolita left home and told her mother, “Mom if you really love me, allow me to go to Bangalore to do my specialization in medicine.” To which her mom replied hiding all her internal sorrow with gentle words, “Honey is there a need to go so far? How would your lonely mother do without you?” She sobbed softly and carried on but Lolita turned a deaf ear. She retorted, “Mother you have only sermon to preach. Either you give me permission or I run away from home to pursue my dream and destiny.” These rude words cut her mother to the heart. Little did Lolita know that her mother was a heart patient, because of the traumatic divorce and the aftermath.
As a loving, understanding mother, she made the necessary arrangement. Off she went, happy at the prospect of being by herself at last, to satisfy her dreams and secret wishes. She lived like a normal student, enjoying the thrills, enjoyment and anxieties of city life.
After the first phone call, and couple of emails, she stopped her contact with her mother. In her final year the words, gesture of her mom began to come home. They kept coming like a nightmare. She began to feel that inspite of her studies, something was not well. There is a vacuum inside her the moment she left her mom, the only person she can call her own. She brushed aside assuming that time would heal the wound. She took for granted that she could make up when she finished her qualification
One fateful day, she got the news that her mother was at death’s door due to a massive heart attack. Her last wish was that Lolita should be beside her. She made lighting speed to be with her mom. She pushed the door ajar. Made for the familiar room. The empty bed of her mom greeted her eyes. Her tear filled eyes noticed a letter for her on the table mom sat. ‘Perhaps its the will’, she thought. She opened the letter with trembling hand and breaking heart.
“My beloved and only loving daughter.” The letter concluded with the moving poem by an unknown poet, which reads thus
The Time is now
If you are ever going to love
Love me now while I can know
The sweet and tender feeling
Which from true affection flow.
Love me now while I am living
Do not wait until I am gone
And then have it chiseled in marble
Sweet words on ice cold stone
If you have tender thoughts of me
Please let me know now
If you wait until I am sleeping
Never will be death between us
And I won’t hear you then.
Tears of repentance welled up her eyes forcing her to close the letter. She never understood what it meant to have a mother who loved her dearly until one day she left for her heavenly abode. Lolita in her true contrition sobbed “Now my mom is gone and I am sick with guilt because I never told her what she meant to me. Worse yet, I hardly showed my love for her and did not treat her as she deserved to be treated.”
The world is filled with sons and daughter and a child like Lolita. I hope they see themselves in this story and learn from it, before they realize that it is too late to begin to love some one.